CHUBBY SPITS VENOM

My uncle in Jamaica once told me,

"Chubby how do you know you only like Chicken, when you haven't sampled beef, mutton, fish, pork. Don't settle until you sample it all."

I was on the verge of marriage some years back to this guy I was with for quite a while. I woke up one morning and realized that there is no way I can wake up to the same person everyday for the rest of my life. Just wasn't happening. Since then, I seek & conquer: No games, No bullshiting. Since I broke things off with him, it's been extremely rare that I open up to a guy...I'm talking about my heart, not my legs.

So when I decided that I'm going to waste time from my busy schedule to communicate with you several times a week, and when you start the trend of doing the same thing, I expect you to be consistent and not flail. you could have just left what happened in Phili, at the hotel, but you kept pursuing me long after that, making me ultimately believe that you were worth my time and effort. I never liked long distance booty, but you packaged it well, with your words, daily calls, e-mails, flowers to the office, plane tickets....Just when I plopped my feet on the table to rest a spell and open up to you-Something I haven't done in years, you drop the ball. The calls stop and the e-mails become one sentence.

Now I'm stuck. Like I just woke up from a drunk stupor and realized I've lost time. Wasted time on you and I can't snap back. I lost myself thanks to the false security you gave me, believing it was cool to let go. I'm hurt. Now I run the risk of sounding like psychobitch. But this is what you signed up for when you told me, several times over that we crossed paths for a reason and we should take time to get to know each other. Or am I supposed to work it out, talk things out. Isn't that what people do when we want something to work? Maybe, you're just an asshole who gets off on playing mind tricks. Punk ass trick.

I'm trying to express how I'm feeling, but I think I'm typing some chicken scratch, making no sense at all. And I had a shitty day at work too. Before I forget....

@Thandieland:
I usually don't respond to comments from people who make wack attempts at playing, "mirror", but you've caught me in a pissy mood...Here's some mirroring advice for you: Why don't you use the hand you fan with to screw yourself.

Not sure what your life is like, but I only divulge a fraction of me in this blog, so you should think twice before you comment again. The lack of funds is from the villa I purchased in Negril last month and am in the process of redecorating it.

Consider yourself warned.