CALLING ALL DICKS!

I've been so wrapped up in my fellowship, catching up with work, starting new projects, re-ordering credit cards, license plates and time away that my cootchie hasn't been stroked in TWO MONTHS!!!

It just hit me earlier today, while I was driving and I noticed my cootchie contracting everytime a cop car drove by. Is it him? Is it Officer W.?

Why am I acting like a desperate wench? Then my brain would move on to other non-productive random thoughts. When I returned to the office, I checked my e-mail account to see if Piggy responded...Null.

Then I connected the dots:
I'm obsessed with Officer Piggy because he could potentially be my next victim which leads me to be obsessed with Officer Piggy because the actual chase of acquiring his dick reminds me of the fact that I haven't gotten poked in eons which has resulted in me being totally obsessed with any penis that stares at me two seconds too long.

You want me don't you? Yes. I know you do.

In times of great need such as this, I depend on my reserve dick stash. Since my (stupid) decision to clean stable, I have none. Dr. Dookie moved to Maryland for a better residency, which only leaves Big Dick Munchkin who tries to take the condom off in mid thrust. So I have no penial (is that even a word?!) reserve.

Is it time to tap into the world wide web dating pool? I've done it once years ago and that ended up in me getting a restraining order against the crazy bastard. Once again, long story, nother post.


Piggy needs to pork me.