THINGS I KNOW I CAN CHANGE, BUT...
In a classic family dynamic, where a parent is an alcoholic, my role is the "Family Hero".
I've always made sure my parents & brother were happy. I make sure things get done. My parents rely on me when there's a crisis. I got good grades, always made curfew, excel in any and everything I strive for and made sure my parents had something new to brag about when needed. I remember as a child being the family cheerleader, working extra hard to help my mother and father forget last night's alcoholic escapades.
As I get older, I know there are things in my life that shouldn't be, but I've also learned to pick my battles wisely.... That's the number one thing in my life that I know I can change, but don't bother to-My need to please my family.
Other Things I know I won't change and have learned to co-habitat with:
-Facial Hair: I mean shave every morning, or have a full beard type facial hair!
-Denial: As much I say I'm never getting married, never having kids, love living with my twin brother....I don't mean it
-Rice Krispie Treats: If you can't beat them...Eat 'em.
-Fear of commitment: It's a catch 22-I want to be with someone, but I'm afraid of the big C.
-Fear of larger than life statues:I'm serious about this one. I have no idea where/when/why this came about. I completely freeze when I'm in the presence of really large statues. I'll even pull the car over...I fainted when I saw Leo the Lion at Trafulgar Square and I cried because I was scared shitless when I saw the Statue of Liberty up close. Have you heard of anyone who has this phobia?
-My relationship with my relatives: I don't call them, when I know I should and I use the distance (Jamaica, London) as an excuse.
-Relationships w/Needy People: Being an Aries, people are drawn to me. I can't stand needy people, but I don't have the heart to tell them.
-Lack of Higher Learning: I've been putting off getting a MPH (master's in Public Health) for the longest.
-Funny Money: HAH-LAY-LEW-JAH! for Wells Fargo Direct Deposit Advances
-Junk Food: I don't have time to cook, I had a long day, I deserve it...These are my excuses for indulging in filet-o-fish sandwiches, chicken ranch sandwiches, Little Debbie Swiss Rolls,etc...
So there you have it! I know there are several things I've surrendered to, but I can't think of them right now....Or maybe don't want to..Another acquired trait of the Family Hero: Supression.
I've always made sure my parents & brother were happy. I make sure things get done. My parents rely on me when there's a crisis. I got good grades, always made curfew, excel in any and everything I strive for and made sure my parents had something new to brag about when needed. I remember as a child being the family cheerleader, working extra hard to help my mother and father forget last night's alcoholic escapades.
As I get older, I know there are things in my life that shouldn't be, but I've also learned to pick my battles wisely.... That's the number one thing in my life that I know I can change, but don't bother to-My need to please my family.
Other Things I know I won't change and have learned to co-habitat with:
-Facial Hair: I mean shave every morning, or have a full beard type facial hair!
-Denial: As much I say I'm never getting married, never having kids, love living with my twin brother....I don't mean it
-Rice Krispie Treats: If you can't beat them...Eat 'em.
-Fear of commitment: It's a catch 22-I want to be with someone, but I'm afraid of the big C.
-Fear of larger than life statues:I'm serious about this one. I have no idea where/when/why this came about. I completely freeze when I'm in the presence of really large statues. I'll even pull the car over...I fainted when I saw Leo the Lion at Trafulgar Square and I cried because I was scared shitless when I saw the Statue of Liberty up close. Have you heard of anyone who has this phobia?
-My relationship with my relatives: I don't call them, when I know I should and I use the distance (Jamaica, London) as an excuse.
-Relationships w/Needy People: Being an Aries, people are drawn to me. I can't stand needy people, but I don't have the heart to tell them.
-Lack of Higher Learning: I've been putting off getting a MPH (master's in Public Health) for the longest.
-Funny Money: HAH-LAY-LEW-JAH! for Wells Fargo Direct Deposit Advances
-Junk Food: I don't have time to cook, I had a long day, I deserve it...These are my excuses for indulging in filet-o-fish sandwiches, chicken ranch sandwiches, Little Debbie Swiss Rolls,etc...
So there you have it! I know there are several things I've surrendered to, but I can't think of them right now....Or maybe don't want to..Another acquired trait of the Family Hero: Supression.
posted by Chubby Chocolate @ 11:54 PM
12 Comments:
At 5:55 AM,
blackcaesar said…
i do and feel the same way about alot of those things listed, like the junk food and the higher learning.
i feel as i fit the hero role as well... i dont understand the statue thing though that is real interesting...
anyway, i enjoyed your post immensely...
At 6:01 AM,
The_Practitioner said…
That is the funniest shit I've heard today. A fear of large statues - freakin' hilarious. lol
At 6:44 AM,
Disco said…
chuby, this was HIL.ARIOUS! I too have come to some kinda "peace" wit sum stuff too....like....I ain't neva gon be a size 8!! LOL
At 7:05 AM,
TRUTHZ said…
i am feeling you CC. been there and done the good child, great student, distracter of what was really going on, then it got old and i just stopped caring abt what was going on w/ everyone else and tried to focus on me. how do you deal with fake people. once i get a grip on this, maybe i will pick up the phone and call some of Bio relatives...naw, probably won't but it sounded good.
At 7:46 AM,
brooklyn babe said…
That's my Chubby... thanks for entertaining my bizzare request! Lol
At 8:26 AM,
Pamalicious said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 8:26 AM,
Pamalicious said…
Chubby - I'm afraid of the Chick Fila cows (and previously chicken) and will run from them in the mall - sooo it's all good.
At 2:01 PM,
LadyLee said…
Good post, CC... I can't stand needy people either. I just stay away from them...That statue thing is a bit weird, though. Glad to see you've made your peace with a few things...
At 3:12 PM,
Brains Nbooty said…
glad you can be honest with yourself, and as usual, keep it real and hilarious...might use this for my site..lol
At 5:13 PM,
nikki said…
wonderful, funny, and candid post, chocolate! meanwhile, i gotta say i love aries, which explains why i was immediately drawn to your blog. you folk have a strength of mine about you that leos automatically bond with.
At 6:54 PM,
twin said…
a fear of larger than life statues than you would fear my my statue lol
At 8:58 PM,
toneec42 said…
We share two things we won't/can't change: 1. fear of statues and relationship with relatives. I don't know why I'm afraid of statues and I don't want to talk about it. I know I should call home more often but...
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