TOO HOT TO FUCK

And that about sums up my trip-ALL aspects of it.

How & where do I begin? First off, I've learned a lot during my mentally draining and stressful trip: What goes around, comes around. Lucky for me, I wasn't the one who was getting bit in the aisss. Let me explain...

Part of this trip was scheduled to deal with my (alleged) aunt who has declared that all of my mother's property belongs to her. I'm dealing with deep in the country, old ways, believe strongly in obeah, really believe money lines the streets here in the states and that Luther Vandross isn't gay. I ended up having to meet with lawyers, property surveyors, appraisers and property managers during my whole 2.5 weeks in Jamaica. That was during business hours. In the evening, I'd walk up the road to her place to try and talk to her which only led to loud in your face arguments that drew crowds.

This woman spent so many years lying to people about the property situation. She made people believe that we (my parents and I) were trying to kick her off the land and make her homeless. This has been going on for the past three years. If she could she'd accuse us of packing up the land in our suitcases and leaving with it. But with us being there each day, exposed her. Brought her dirty, bad mind shit to the surface for people to see, which made her even more desperate to cover up her lies with more lies.

Gray-A tall, dark, hung local was my intended victim of choice during my stay, but whenever we'd get together to fuck, I was so mentally stressed from dealing with family/property that I couldn't even force myself to get laid. Yes, you've read right. Chubby Choco couldn't even get in the mood...One night Gray whipped out his dick, thinking it would work. He unzipped his pants and I swear his dick popped out and wildly unraveled like one of those trick snakes in a can. But to no avail..

On the first night, the Broughton Welcome Committee greeted me with 21 bites...The first night. The second day I got stung by a wasp, which caused my face to swell up, till I couldn't see. By the time I reached the airport to come back, I had a total of 43 mosquito and sand fly bites. 11 were on my left ass cheek alone.

There were some positive aspects of my stay. Even though my "aunt" was evil (she supposedly did something to "make sure" my brother and I can't have any kids to pass our property on to), my other relatives made me realize the true meaning of family. They were so supportive, nuturing. The many after dinner talks with Uncle Doryl and Aunt Mirra, the dominoe conversations (the ones when we weren't talking shit) with cousins and friends....It renewed my sense of where I come from and who I represent everyday. Even though I didn't get to spend nights and early mornings in the clubs, snore on the beach or climb Gray's anaconda, I did enjoy just spending time with them. I detoxed from the fast paced, greedy, over indulgent life here in the states.

But of course like most detoxed patients, when placed back into the original environment, they unlearn, adapt and resort back to their old ways.

Happy New Year!