The Adventures of Chubby Chocolate

CONFESSIONS & RAMBLINGS OF A CHUBBY BLACK GIRL ON THE VERGE OF 30.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

BELLY FLOP

I pulled up to the gas station, windows down, sunroof open, music blasting, hair flailing all over the place. I saw him from the corner of my eye and in one milli-second, I processed it all:

That car looks familiar. He looks familiar. Oh shit, it's HIM! I haven't seen him in four years. Thank goodness I put on make-up before I left the house. Be smooth, Chubby. Are those two kids sitting in the backseat? Get out the car slowly and pop your ass out.

He said my complete name, including the middle one. I did the same. "I see you still got them tig ol' bitties..." He was the only man I let talk to me that way. He reminded me of that porno dude, wessly pipes. Loved talking shit.

We made small talk and exchanged numbers. I left for London (I'll blog about that soon) for three weeks and the day after I got back, he called.

"When you gonna give me some cootchie?"
"Give me your address and I'll be there in 40 minutes."

After it was over, we slept in the spooning position. He was snoring in my ear, so I needed to shift. I made a swift move to turn away from him and I heard a clapping sound...It was my belly.
The noise broke his snoring and he lifted his head up....I held my breath and clinched my eyes shut.

"Did you just make your ass clap?"

"uhmmm, yeap."

"I like the sound of that." He plopped his head back on the pillow and went back to snoring.



Thank God the lights were out.

10 Comments:

  • At 8:05 AM, Blogger Terry said…

    Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

    Back in the bloghouse in full form.

    It's all you "C".

     
  • At 9:11 AM, Anonymous MzNewy said…

    lol...yep...chubby is back indeed. *snicker*

     
  • At 9:29 AM, Blogger Disco said…

    FA-FUCKIN-LARIOUS!!!!! Loves it.... and you are back indeed. LOL

     
  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger MP said…

    Laughing my ass off. I love it!

     
  • At 12:54 PM, Blogger Knockout Zed said…

    Welcome the fuck back!!! I love this story.

    KZ

     
  • At 10:25 AM, Blogger MP said…

    you are tagged!

     
  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger STEPHANIE said…

    Hahahahaha... Girl you are too much!! That had me rollin'!

    And don't think I didn't notice you askin where I've been... where have you been? Haha... Been missin ya! Glad you're back.

     
  • At 2:11 PM, Blogger PRO said…

    This is the shit I've been missing! You stewpit! And quick on your feet... In your case quick on your back, er, buck, er doggy style, er, top. You get the point.

    I'm glad to have my dose of CC or is that a unit of CC or a CC of x number of units? Either way you like a blog drug, girl. Welcome the fuck back...

     
  • At 3:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ROFLMAO!!!! Hilarious...you need to be getting paid for writing stuff like this! Seriously! This some Sex And the City homegirl style.

    -Berry

     
  • At 11:08 PM, Blogger Liryc said…

    OMG, this had me crack up! Girl you're right lucky the lights were out. I know I would've been mortified!!! But since he thought you were doing the big booty clap you are alright..

     

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