CHUBBY PLUS NONE

The extended weekend is just about here and my scheduled plans have been botched because all my friends have decided to do something with their boyfriends. It's like the planets have aligned...They all have a significant other except for me. I've got a group of sorry penial beings whom put together don't even equate one man...And none of them are available for a holiday booty call and one of them has invited me to church service...And my fellow blogsphere peeps know how I feel about people inviting me to church.

I'm contemplating venturing out to the clubs by myself this weekend, but I just don't have the balls to do it. My mother has told me of the many times she would frequent the clubs in London on her own when she was my age, but I just can't do it. I'm trying to envision myself in my cute black dress, leggings and 4.5 inch heels, walking into the club, heading to the bar to get a drink. I'll see people I know there, but we're only on a hello & goodbye basis. I can't stick to them. We'll hug and give pecks on the cheek and move on.

After getting my first dose of Malibu rum and diet coke, I'll head outside to the back of the club, to the packed dancefloor. My vision gets cloudy after that. Maybe I'll sit in my car and smoke half a joint before entering. But then I won't be able to walk in my heels.....As I'm typing, I'm working on gaining enough courage to party solo. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it and I'm going to have fun. Who in the hell am I kidding? Please, Chubby. Grow some balls and get out of the house this weekend.


This better not be a peek into my life this coming summer.


UPDATE!
I drove back to retrieve my car part at about 3am during a weekday. I didn't have eggs, but I did strategically place about 30 condoms on his car with a key scratch clear across his shiny black car...I figure if he's going to sleep around on his wife (who I just discovered existed and resides in Jamaica, but was visiting at the time of said condoms & key scratch) he should be safe.
Some real psycho, childish, petty shit, but it felt DAYUM orgasmic. The rush felt so good it was scary.