KHARMA, BIYATCH!!

I've spent the last month reading every single post I've typed and I can't believe I'm going to be 3o plus one in a couple of months. I really have no new insight or epiphanies about myself, my life or about how I want or should live it. The only thing that might have changed about me is that I've stopped trying to dilute my personality. I'm speaking my mind more, I'm not afraid to look silly.

I was trying to change the pic on my profile, but I can't download my pic...Someone, please let me know how I get my picture online so I can download it.

Anyway, a few months before spring and my stable is completely dry. My last sexual adventure happened before I left for Belize. I've stopped shaving and lotioning my legs. That's how bad it's gotten. My legs looks like I've been dipped in flour with black pepper. I'll go into detail about my last sexual Chubby adventure soon, I promise. I blogged today to get something off my chest. I'm feeling a bit guilty about doing it, so I need to e-confess.

I'm in a compact and crowded parking lot, looking for a place to park. I find a spot and I put on my blinker, signaling to approaching cars. I position my car to back it in the spot and the car behind me blocks my car from getting in. Then he proceeds to honk at me to get out of his way. He gives me the finger and is shouting out all kinds of bitch, fuck you's and such. I recite my stupid people mantra, "Don't sweat the small stuff, Chubby. Don't sweat the small stuff, Chubby..." and drive off. I find a parking spot and proceed with my errands.

When leaving the store, I felt myself getting warm and angry. "Who in the hell was he to do that? He needs to experience some type of negative consequence for his actions. He can't just get away with what he did. There's no way in hell I'm letting him go about the rest of the day feeling that he bullied me. He needs to pay for his actions and the only way for him to pay is to experience something just as negative as what he did.....I'm horny and pissed that it's Friday night and the only thing I have to look forward to are my Netflix movies. He needs to learn that he can't do something like that to a person he knows nothing about.

I pulled out my pocket knife and commenced to scratching the shit out of his car. Clear across the drivers side. I've never done something like that before. It felt soooooooo good. I got into my car and sped off with a devilish grin. Then I realized something. What will be my consequence for what I did?