THE LAST STRAW
I'm completely over you. This is the last straw....
The countless times I dialed six of the seven numbers
The countless times I "mistakenly" sent you text message just to see if you'd respond
The countless times I came home from work, took a shower, put on my cute pajamas and a little make-up, hoping you'll stop by unannounced.
The countless times I cooked stew peas with smoke turkey and spinners because I know it's your favorite.
The countless times I showed up at the club with my not so cute friends, so I could run into your friends, who would hopefully go back and report to you about how good I looked.
The countless times I leaked information to your friends, hoping they would share the information with you.
The countless times I fucked the men in my stable, closed my eyes and pretended they were you.
The countless times I made sure I wasn't on the phone, just to make sure the line was open for you to call...Regardless of the fact that I have call waiting.
The countless times I would slow down or speed up just to get next to every black BMW 745 on the road to make sure it was you...and if was you to make sure there wasn't a women sitting where I'm supposed to be.
The countless times I drove by your house, hoping to catch a glimpse of you...
But yesterday was the last time. I'm compleltely over you and that was the last straw.
As I drove by your house yesterday, I was so fixated on looking through your windows that I didn't see the curb. A piece of my bumper is lying on the street less than 50 feet from your house. Now I'm sitting in a Wheelworks getting my front right tire replaced and I can't report the scratch on my bumper because last month I reported a dent so I could get the money and use that to pay my $1500 vehicle registration fee. I want to drive back to your place to reclaim the piece so I won't have to pay for it, but I don't want to drive by your house anymore.
That was the last straw. Make me wreck my Mercedes and can't report the damage for your no calling, wanna-be player, male whore ass.
The next time I drive by your house, I'll have eggs.
The countless times I dialed six of the seven numbers
The countless times I "mistakenly" sent you text message just to see if you'd respond
The countless times I came home from work, took a shower, put on my cute pajamas and a little make-up, hoping you'll stop by unannounced.
The countless times I cooked stew peas with smoke turkey and spinners because I know it's your favorite.
The countless times I showed up at the club with my not so cute friends, so I could run into your friends, who would hopefully go back and report to you about how good I looked.
The countless times I leaked information to your friends, hoping they would share the information with you.
The countless times I fucked the men in my stable, closed my eyes and pretended they were you.
The countless times I made sure I wasn't on the phone, just to make sure the line was open for you to call...Regardless of the fact that I have call waiting.
The countless times I would slow down or speed up just to get next to every black BMW 745 on the road to make sure it was you...and if was you to make sure there wasn't a women sitting where I'm supposed to be.
The countless times I drove by your house, hoping to catch a glimpse of you...
But yesterday was the last time. I'm compleltely over you and that was the last straw.
As I drove by your house yesterday, I was so fixated on looking through your windows that I didn't see the curb. A piece of my bumper is lying on the street less than 50 feet from your house. Now I'm sitting in a Wheelworks getting my front right tire replaced and I can't report the scratch on my bumper because last month I reported a dent so I could get the money and use that to pay my $1500 vehicle registration fee. I want to drive back to your place to reclaim the piece so I won't have to pay for it, but I don't want to drive by your house anymore.
That was the last straw. Make me wreck my Mercedes and can't report the damage for your no calling, wanna-be player, male whore ass.
The next time I drive by your house, I'll have eggs.
posted by Chubby Chocolate @ 10:13 AM
14 Comments:
At 7:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
I don't know you, but there is no way in HELL that ANY woman should be making that type of effort for a man. period. Good for you on that decision.
At 8:41 AM,
Jazzy said…
*sigh* That's how it can get sometimes. I say whether you go back for the bumper or not...you should go back with the eggs. It's silly...it's childish...but hey...you'll feel MUCH better after. Not that I know from experience...hehehe.
At 8:18 AM,
racquelle-cutie said…
tell it to him girl
update ohh
At 12:54 PM,
proacTiff said…
[Text script]
Ms n u
but c u ben busy.
[23/160]
Last straws are a beeotch. Hang in there.
At 5:56 AM,
She Her Me said…
Girl, keep your head up. I don't know him...but can guarantee he's not worth it. But I'm with "opinionated diva" get your egg on, woman!! :) Make sure you share that adventure with us too! haha...
At 6:42 AM,
Anonymous said…
WOW, I felt every word of that post but I cound NEVER have been able to write those words so well!!! I agree with you though, don't go back there but if for some reason you do, BRING THE EGGS!!!
At 10:38 AM,
Unknown said…
"The next time I drive by your house, I'll have eggs"
LOL!!
At 11:07 AM,
The Brown Blogger said…
Make sure they age a bit before throwing.
And I missed you too.
At 12:26 PM,
Midnightblues said…
I laughed and I cried. Thank you--I've had a really looong day.
At 2:57 PM,
Blah Blah Blah said…
No eggs... get his tires...it'll hurt him tohave to pay to get all fours replaced this week...and next week...and in a month.
I'm just sayin'...
Hey Chubs
At 1:56 AM,
shuna fish lydon said…
I hear you girl. For real.
At 12:44 PM,
nikki said…
this right here made my fuckin day.
At 4:27 AM,
Anonymous said…
You sound like a complete psycho stalker.
At 7:27 AM,
GiGi - The Shy Giraffe said…
i'm reading every line and feeling every word!! glad to read what i'm feeling but cant seems to find the word myself.
go get them eggs!!
=;O)
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