CHUBBY ON THE PROWL

I just crawled out of bed.
I'm winding down from my busy weekend. It would of ended up being one the most perfect weekends in a while, but of course that's just too good to be true in the land of Chubby Chocolate.

I spent Friday in San Francisco with three former colleagues. We feasted at Buca Di Beppo and hung out at some Irish pub. I drank, which I vowed I'd never do again since my first drunken fiasco (hmm...sounds like a future post) on a business trip to New Orleans last year. But I sipped and stopped when my cootchie starting warming up. I got home well after 1am and decided it would be perfect to end the night with a good orgasm. Munchkin called earlier, so I figured if he can call me at ungodly hours of the morning, I can do the same. Of course he's still up.

Booty call + Both having your own place + 30 minute commute=Laziness. Lazy because nobody wants to drive to the other persons house. We spent 40 minutes debating over the phone which could have been spent on his aiss driving to my house. Neither one of us would let up. No night cap tonight. Maybe Saturday will prove better...

Saturday morning I attended the Women of Color in Community Leadership tea with my boss. I ensured a seat right next to the Director of Prevention in our county public health Department to let her know of the decisions her staff has been making without her knowledge...We got out our palms and scheduled a meeting next week to "re-visit" my proposal.

In the evening I had dinner with a friend and we went to Yoshi's to see Stanley Clark. It was by far the best concert I've attended so far this year. He even beat out Stan Getz at the Villa Montalvo which is tough. She suggested we go to a bar afterwards and I obliged. I was never into bar scenes for fear that I'd get with an alcoholic like my father. We kept converations with guys short and passed on advances. I kept drinking well past the cootchie contractions though, but I wasn't shit-faced. I had a nice horny buzz. It's now well after midnight.

I dropped her off at her car and started my mission. I'm not sleeping until I get the dick, a dick, somebody's dick. As soon as I pulled off, Munchkin called.

"I'm on my way over." I didn't want to start the commuting debate. I'll head out to the suburbs. I stopped at a gas station and saw a familiar SUV. He got out the car and I thought I was hallucinating. It's Dr. J. Before he could see me, I checked myself in the mirror. My contacts made my eyes red, my make-up looked old and my breath smelled like death. Oh, well. He's seen me in shittier (pun intended) situations.

I got out of the car, purposely ignoring him. I walked on my heels a little harder to the passenger side, so he could turn my way. I bent over into the car to reach for my wallet, knowing he'd look. I wanted to make sure he'd see how good my ass looked in my new tight jeans, after a month back at the gym. Chubby's made contact! We made small chat and I followed him to his place.

Before he got out the shower, I was butt-booty naked, on the bed ready to pounce. We began and he started giving oral pleasure. He wasn't that good, but I was half drunk. After a little while, I noticed his head was down there, but his mouth wasn't moving. HE FELL ASLEEP!!! How can you fall asleep while your face is buried in a wet, wiggling cootchie? I squeezed my legs, gripping Dr. J's head. He jumped and started licking. I politely pushed him off. He apologized and explained that he'd just come off a 72 hour shift. We made plans to have lunch next Wednesday and I left. Time for Plan B... I called Munchkin and told him I was on my way.

When I reached, his hard dick greeted me at the door. We managed to make it to his living room couch. About 20 minutes later, I'm speaking in tongue and holding on for dear life. I hear a familiar sound and my mind comes back to the world. Within milli-seconds, my brain processes what occurred: What was that noise? Sounded like a condom. It was a condom. It was a condom being taken off. I know he just didn't...Oh, no he didn't! He just took off the condom! He's trying to go back in! Push him away!

I knocked his midget ass off me and we argued for a brief minute. I put my clothes back on and headed for home. I now won't have a problem leaving that dick alone. Once, shame on you...Two times fool of me.

Time for Plan C...BED.

No more dick prowling for me.