MUNCHKIN CLENCH
2am this morning, my cell phone rings.
I'm a light sleeper (if it's not a iRabbit night). With each ring, all kind of thoughts are running wild in my head: Someone's dead. My grandmother's dead. My brother got into a car accident...
It's Big Dick Munchkin.
It's been two weeks since our last romp. I'm distancing myself from him because he's catching feelings. Three years of training and he knows what to do, how to do it and when to change positions. It's rare to find a man with a nice package, who knows how to use it.
No matter how many times I tell him that nothing more will ever come of our sexual escapades, he still tries to move towards his goal of getting me to commit to him. I'm trying to take the high road and not use him for his dick/skills, but it's difficult. My other options are a Dr. who's time off is in the middle of the day, during the week and a bikini-briefed leaky dick bastard, who is now resorting to calling me from a restricted line because I won't answer his phone calls.
I answer the phone.
"Are you aware of the time?"
"Come over."
"I'm hanging up. Good Morning."
Seconds later my home phone rings.
"What are you trying to prove, Munchkin?"
"I want you to bring your sweet ass over here, right now."
"I'm hanging up and if you call back, this will be the last time you hear my voice." I turn off both ringers and fought to get back to snoring.
I call him much later and tell him to explain. He goes on about how I belong to him and I need to get serious about us...Every word he spoke moved his dick into the "Break Glass in Case of Emergency" category. This mashes up my whole program. Now I have to find another victim to train...
Why do men think that each poke of the dick, brands women as their property?
In my Captain Kirk persona:Must...escape...the magnetic force...of...Munchkin's Big...Dick.
I'm a light sleeper (if it's not a iRabbit night). With each ring, all kind of thoughts are running wild in my head: Someone's dead. My grandmother's dead. My brother got into a car accident...
It's Big Dick Munchkin.
It's been two weeks since our last romp. I'm distancing myself from him because he's catching feelings. Three years of training and he knows what to do, how to do it and when to change positions. It's rare to find a man with a nice package, who knows how to use it.
No matter how many times I tell him that nothing more will ever come of our sexual escapades, he still tries to move towards his goal of getting me to commit to him. I'm trying to take the high road and not use him for his dick/skills, but it's difficult. My other options are a Dr. who's time off is in the middle of the day, during the week and a bikini-briefed leaky dick bastard, who is now resorting to calling me from a restricted line because I won't answer his phone calls.
I answer the phone.
"Are you aware of the time?"
"Come over."
"I'm hanging up. Good Morning."
Seconds later my home phone rings.
"What are you trying to prove, Munchkin?"
"I want you to bring your sweet ass over here, right now."
"I'm hanging up and if you call back, this will be the last time you hear my voice." I turn off both ringers and fought to get back to snoring.
I call him much later and tell him to explain. He goes on about how I belong to him and I need to get serious about us...Every word he spoke moved his dick into the "Break Glass in Case of Emergency" category. This mashes up my whole program. Now I have to find another victim to train...
Why do men think that each poke of the dick, brands women as their property?
In my Captain Kirk persona:Must...escape...the magnetic force...of...Munchkin's Big...Dick.
posted by Chubby Chocolate @ 11:27 PM
6 Comments:
At 5:50 AM,
Knockout Zed said…
Wielder of massive weapons grow egos that match it's size. This is due to the breathless exhortations of the "dick-downed" after lovemaking. The only way to control the rapidly expanding egos of said "weapon possessor" is to enter into a cabal with other women, promising never to give hyperbolic props to him, even if such props are deserving.
Please don't hate me CC.
KZ
At 9:03 AM,
PAINKEY said…
MD is crazy....2am, he needs a DR...he probably had an LD(leaky dick) from the phone call...hehehee
so that makes him all in one(lol) ;)
Whats a girl to do?
At 10:24 AM,
LadyLee said…
You're confusing me here... What's the problem?? He must be a real jackass for you to be trying to distance yourself from him...He must be ugly as dirt or have a stank personality, violent, or just straight up looney... something...
That can begin to grate on your nerves: A negro trying to get all committed and serious while you just tryin' to twerk... Damn!!
You're good, CC...That d would be calling me like crack calls a crackhead!!! My booty bag would've been already packed and in the car... I would've said EXACTLY what Oldboy wanted to hear, twerked it out, then got the hell out of dodge...
But anyway, resist, Chubby C...
You must resist...
The Force, Obi Wan Chubby C, use the Force!
At 11:05 AM,
twin said…
If I lived closed to Cali I would love to be your DIG (Dick in Glass) for as long as you need me.
At 7:41 AM,
ChezNiki said…
@Chubby-LMBBAO! I vote for Dr. Afternoon Delight...wait, he's not a GYN is he? And maybe LeakyBikiniMan needs some looser drawers :-O
@Twin-back home, we used to call such an man 'the steady ender,' usually a clean, single ex-boyfriend with the gift of Sling
;-}
At 8:43 PM,
TRUTHZ said…
uhhhhh...how big is big? naw, i justed wanted to know if u were afraid of committment? 3 years is a long time to let go of, funny thing w/ time, can't get it back
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