STUPID FUCK

It's 7:01pm and I'm still in the office. One of the downfalls of being a boss. I'm taking a break from working on a grant proposal that has to be submitted online by the end of day today.... I shouldn't of fucked off my Thursday shopping in San Francisco.

I had to fire someone today. I've done it before, but this was the first time it got REALLY UGLY. I'm the Deputy Director of a non-profit organization. HIV/AIDS prevention is my specialty as well as epidemiology. Anyway, he's been working here for eight months. Six of the eight months, he's basically sat in front of his computer, doing nothing. His supervisor refused to tell me he was having a problem with him. He did this because he wanted to handle it himself. I'll address that in a minute...Bang up, fucking job he did.

For the past month, when I enter the agency, I see him on the computer playing online games. Being that I'm the boss (the Executive Director has been away for a year "feeling out" her hand in politics- That's the wonderful world of non-profit), I'd expect him to rush to click away from the game and pretend as if he's doing something else. At least that's what I would do if in his shoes. So this month I've pulled him in my office a couple of times about this, even wrote him up. He continued though, basically saying, Fuck you, I do what I want and I'm doing it on agency time."

I walked in this morning and he's on the computer. Before I unlocked my office door, I called a staff meeting and I WENT OFF. I basically stated that if I see anyone on the computer playing games, they're fired. No questions asked. I encouraged them to leave immediately if they feel that this job is not for them. My whole staff knew I was directing this to him. Can you believe this ignoramus jumped out of his seat and screamed the following: "I don't want to work here anymore, but I'm not quitting. You're going to have to lay me off so I can collect unemployment."

WHAT THE FUCK? I adjourned the meeting and told him to come to my office.

I wish I could tell you what I told him, but my mouth and brain was moving too fast. All I remember telling him was that he needed to stick around for me to type up his termination letter and have the HR person cut him a check. I also printed some guidelines from EDD that clearly stated that he could not receive unemployment due to his poor work performance. He wasn't very happy about that.

I called in the Programs Manager and asked him why he didn't come to me about the idiot months ago. His response was, "I wanted to show the staff that I could handle it myself. I didn't think it would look right to run to you about it. Even though you're my boss, it's kind if degrading that you're much younger than me. " DEGRADING? I wish I could fire his ass. Don't worry, he also felt the verbal wrath of Chubby Chocolate.

It's not my fault you're 55 and fucked away your life by drugs, jail and alcohol. This is the price I have to pay for working in the non-profit, public health field-Recovered middle-aged staff that have serious chips on their shoulders because they wasted half their life to have a boss who's the same age their kids. He sees me and he sees what could have been if he took the right side at the fork.

STUPID FUCK.

AHHHHHH, Exhale..... I've got to get back to my grant proposal so I can leave the office...I'm shooting for 9pm...Happy Friday to me.