MUNCHKIN LOVE?

SATURDAY
I left my parents house early morning to go home. I had no plans of leaving once I reached. I spent the morning and afternoon house cleaning and washed my hair. I had three new Netflix movies, ready to watch and I just finished cooking Fricassee chicken w/brown rice and cabbage. I was just about to put The Agronomist in the DVD player, then my phone rings.

"Hey #$@#*, I thought a lot about your message and I now know how serious you are. I think you're right. It was very stupid of me."
It's Big Dick Munchkin!
"What was stupid of you?"
"Not wanting to use a condom. I won't ever do that again."
"I don't trust you."
"Come over and let me show you."
"No, I don't believe you."
"I'm serious, #$@#*. I won't ever do that again. I miss you and I miss our routine.
"OK."

I'm not hard to convince. I did my "Ahhm gonnah git mi suuhhhm" sprint, changed the cd's in my changer (I had jazz cd's- It keeps me calm when I'm horny) to dancehall, opened the moonroof, let down the windows and took off. I had to make a pitstop at my office to get a box of Magnums-I don't trust him. I cruised to his house.

As usual, he left the door unlocked. YES! My cootchie begins to pulsate. It's been four weeks. I hear him in the bathroom and head to his room. I pass by the kitchen. He cooked. In his room, there's candles lit and a bottle of champagne with two glasses. He's veered off track. This is new. I'm so thrown off, I forget to strip and hop in the bed. He enters the room and gives me a hug.

"I've missed you." I make a nervous laugh and give him the friendly hug with a pat on the shoulder. He puts his clothes on. What the fuck?

"I cooked some food if you're hungry. Or would you like some wine?" I'm speechless. For the past three years, we've mastered a solid routine, that doesn't involve much conversation. He's got something up his sleeve. "No, I'm not hungry. I ate before I got here." Lying my ass off. I just don't want to touch his food for fear that he's done jou-jou (voo-doo) to it.

We sit on his bed and I wait for him to make his move. "I'm really enjoying my new job." WHAT THE FUCK?! "That's good." I reply. I can't believe this! He's taking this talking shit too far.

"I really missed you. We've been doing this for three years now and I haven't had sex with any other woman. That's why I thought we should try not using a condom. But I was being selfish and I don't want to do anything to jeoperdize having you in my life." I feel like I want to hyperventilate. He tries to kiss me on my mouth and I give him a cheek. "Why are you so rigid. There's a lot more to me than my dick. Why won't you let me in." My cootchie dries up.

After about 10 minutes of tortured conversation, he makes his move. Licking, massaging, sucking..The usual. He positions to go in for the kill and I get up and grab the box of condoms. He puts one on and I'm off to the world where the language of choice is tongue. He starts talking.

Now I partake in the staple sex phrases: Yeah. Harder. Right there. OK. It's yours, etc...Big Dick, however flipped the script. "Be with me, @$#*%. Say you'll be with me." What am I to do? I'm trying to focus on my second orgasm and he's talking this crap. I start moaning to ignore him. There's no way I'm cumming. He climaxes and I flop to the bed, pissed.

"We've known each other too long and you can't keep up this man eater role much longer. I'm 33 and I'm ready to settle down. I think we'd be good together...." I feel dizzy. I tell him I don't see a future with him and I'm speechless when he asks me to give him the reasons. I try to change the subject. "So how's your new job?" He's pissed. He gets up from the bed and turns on the tv. That's my que to leave.

While driving back home, I started thinking: He is a good person. Got a nice job, no baggage, no drugs, not a alcoholic, has his residency, excellent in bed, has good credit, pays his own bills....Why don't I like him? He's short. He's 5ft. 4in. His head reaches my neck. My hands are bigger than his. He's hung like a donkey...Am I wrong for throwing away a decent guy because he's shorter than me?

A confused, superficial & guilty Chubby Chocolate signing off...