The Adventures of Chubby Chocolate

CONFESSIONS & RAMBLINGS OF A CHUBBY BLACK GIRL ON THE VERGE OF 30.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

CHUBBY ODDITIES

When I regularly blogged, I disclosed a little bit too much about myself. But there are some things, I've refrained from sharing....I think. After reading what I just wrote, I'm beginning to think I'm a wee bit off.


MP asked me to join in, so here you go (and I'm not tagging anyone!). In no particular order...


1. NEW PEWN-TANG: I don't like women who try to be my friend. If I haven't met you in high school/college, then I don't want to know you. When I'm at a function, I am the most outgoing, extroverted person in the room. This draws them to me. She'll want to exchange info because I seem like a "fun person to hang out with". I'll then ignore their calls, e-mails, etc. It's not that I don't like you, it's just that...Well, yes, I just don't like you. Unless you have a penis, I don't want to have anything to do with you.


2. ALTERNATIVE METHODS: I'm obsessed with chinese medicine and vitamin supplements. I see an Acupuncturist every week. I drink a smidget of flax seed oil each day so I can piss out estrogen (hormone that promotes the growth of fibroids). Before I leave the house, I take the following pills: Female specific multi-vitamin, fish oil capsule, iron supplement, three different types of Chinese herbs (for the immune system, to prevent high blood pressure and eczema) and I'm sure I'm wasting my money.


3. IN HER SHOES: Whenever I feel myself getting depressed or sad about something going on in my life, I imagine what my life would be like if I were a female living in Sudan and my hang ups become trivial.


4. TMI: I think I have Athlete's Feet.


5. JELLIED EELS & DISTANT THOUGHTS: I love boxing. I LOVE BOXING. I don't know where this stemmed from, but I have a massive boxing match collection, from the early greats to current. If it's a Saturday and Classic ESPN runs a boxing marathon, I will stay on my couch,until it's completely over. My favorite Boxer of all time is Jack Johnson, only because he ignored the idiots who told him to throw fights to ensure a race riot wouldn't ensue if he knocked down his White counterparts. In one such fight he knocks the dude so hard that he not only flies across the ring, but Johnson is seen flicking stuck teeth off his glove. When I'm at the gym, I jump rope like a boxer and pretend as if I'm training for a fight. I have a set of pink boxing gloves and I shadow box in my basement. It's a sad sight to see.


6. ????: If I hold my pee long enough, I have an orgasm.

9 Comments:

  • At 6:25 AM, Blogger So...Wise...Sista said…

    6...yesssssss! lol

    Glad you're back!

     
  • At 9:02 AM, Blogger Terry said…

    Ya know, number 6 is a very good trade off. I mean if ya have to be "uncomfortable" ya might as well get something out of it.

    And yeapper on number 3. You could be living in Darfur or be a woman in the Congo. Somehow shit just don't seem that bad when you consider those atrocities.

     
  • At 9:07 AM, Blogger Terry said…

    Oh yeah, and another thing...thanks for coming out of "retirement" or whatever it was. Ironically, I wrote a post about you some time back.

    It's about damn time, you gave us junkies a fix.

     
  • At 10:42 AM, Blogger Eb the Celeb said…

    Maybe I should start holding my pee to see if that's a universal thing...lol

     
  • At 2:16 PM, Blogger PRO said…

    Pink gloves sound like a cute look. And holding the pee thing I learned when I was masturbating regularly. If I waited til I had to pee, I'd 'cum' quicker. Job done. Right. Fast.

     
  • At 12:24 PM, Blogger Disco said…

    if i hold my pee, I will need new draws. period. LOL

     
  • At 5:37 AM, Blogger Blah Blah Blah said…

    I'm like disco...

    However, the same works for contracting my pussy muscles...if I hold strong...it makes my toes curl and I feel like I am having a mild out of body experience.

    FYI..you could never to tell too much abotu yourself!

     
  • At 8:45 AM, Blogger Knockout Zed said…

    If I hold my dick long enough (while moisturizing it with various lotions) I will have an orgasm, too.

    KZ

     
  • At 9:29 PM, Blogger THUY STRONG said…

    OT: Manny Pacquiao is so awesome to watch! Watch Manny Pacquiao speed shadowboxing all day on the official MP Youtube Channel now!

     

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