GUILTY

There are certain things we do that if exposed to the public, would result in calamitous humility. Such as:

• Request extra napkins at the drive thru window because you've ran out of toilet paper.

• Throw a fist in the air and scream, “YES!” when the newscaster announces that the alleged assailant/murderer was not of your race…alright, wasn’t Black.

• Take a “bird bath” in the morning so you can get those extra minutes of sleep.

• Open a package of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls while grocery shopping and accidentally eat them all and hide the empty box in the sanitary napkins aisle.

• Take money out of the “Tips” jar.

• Jacked off to the sounds of others having sex.

If you’re guilty of one or more of the following, FESS UP! Don’t be Scar-red. If you’ve done worse, then tell it (you can always remain anonymous if it’s reeeeally bad)!