I'M STILL A CHILD

I'm double blogging within hours, so you know it's crucial!

I just got in the worst arguement ever with my mother and all I did was tell her how I felt.

My parents have been here for over 20 years and she has not one friend. She spent her life working and taking care of her family...That's all. My father has his mother, who's his best friend (I know. That's unhealthy too, but I'll address that in another post) and the things he can't tell his mother, he tells me, being that he also has no other social network.

When they aren't speaking to each other, they seperately come to me to vent about the other. I just listen and try to give advice. As much as I want to tell them, "I'm the kid, leave me out of it," I realize they really don't have anyone to talk to.

So I call their house, to let them know that I'm coming over and my mother answers the phone and I can hear the tension in her voice. She got into a verbal altercation with her neighbor, A White, late 50s something, recluse who lives with four dogs and five cats. To make a long story short, she immediately switches gears and starts talking shit about my father, she wants to leave him, move back to London...The usual story she tells me. She then says, "What do you think I should do?" I tell her to talk to him. Because I'm not feeding into her frustration, pity party and this is not the advice she wants to hear, she then proceeds to bite my head off and tells me that she has no one else to turn to and I'm not being there for her. I've reached my limit.

"I'M THE BLOODY CHILD! I try my best to be there for you as a friend because I know you don't have any, but there are things that you tell me that I don't feel comfortable talking about because I'm your daughter, not your friend. You should be talking to Daddy about this and not me. That's how you can solve the issue."

She then bitterly promised to never tell me anything...at all, ever again and hung up the phone in my face. I guess I won't be spending my Sunday at my parents house.

As I get older, I'm realizing that there are some things I will never be mature enough to talk about with my mother. She sees me as her friend, and yes I'm almost 30, but that doesn't mean I can handle her bitching to me about her domestic affairs with my father. I'm stuck in the fucking middle and it really hurts. Part of it is my fault because I try to help, give advice, but I can't do it anymore. I'll never be old enough for this shit.